


Nasty Cat

by swagnushammersmith



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, M/M, Nasty Cat, Nicknames, Steve is a terrible liar, wikipedia - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:22:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6391915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swagnushammersmith/pseuds/swagnushammersmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony gives Logan a new nickname. One that confuses him to all get out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nasty Cat

Logan was no stranger to nicknames; he gave nicknames to his friends all the time.

But when Tony said to him, “Good job, nasty cat,” after a training session the X-Men shared with the Avengers, he raised his eyebrow in question.

“Nasty cat?” He asked. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Just a fun nickname, I’m sure they had nicknames back in the old days, right?” Tony countered, and Logan just brushed the comment off. He would just let Tony be weird until his interest faded away.

Except that it didn’t. In fact, the interest in the new nickname spread to the other Avengers, and his housemates in the mansion. Hell, the kids were calling him that! He did not like this one bit. “I swear,” he eventually said in class one afternoon as he taught, “the next person that calls me ‘Professor Nasty Cat’ is gonna get their grade docked.” The students snickered at the sound of him actually saying his nickname.

One day, he passed Ororo’s greenhouse and heard the sound of laughter coming from the elemental. He poked his head in to see her back turned towards him, laughing at something that was on her phone.

“Hey, ‘ro,” he greeted in a friendly manner.

She seemed startled at the sound of Logan’s voice so sudden behind her. “Oh, Logan, hello! To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” She said, a bit too quickly.

“Just thought I’d join in on that joke you were laughin’ at there,” he pointed out. And Ororo realized she still held her phone in her hand, and hastily tried to shove it in her pocket.

“Oh, this? It’s nothing, nothing that you’d be interested in,” Ororo said too quickly, and this time, Logan got suspicious.

“What is it? You can tell me, we’re both adults here.”

Ororo hesitated for a moment before pulling out her phone and showing Logan just what was so funny. Logan tensed up at the image of him with the phrase “NASTY CAT” in bold lettering running across the bottom of the screen.

Once Ororo saw Logan tense she quickly pulled her phone away and let it disappear into her pocket once more. Logan simply muttered, “Thanks ‘ro,” before leaving her greenhouse.

“What the hell is up with this ‘Nasty Cat’ business that Stark started?” Logan asked Steve one day. They were sitting by themselves in the common area of the tower; Steve was drawing while Logan watched, his arm slung over Steve’s shoulders.

Steve looked up from his drawing to look at Logan. “Nasty Cat?” He asked.

“Like you don’t know,” Logan said. “One day he called me that after training and then next thing I know everyone at the school is calling me it.”

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Steve said as he returned to his drawing, shrugging casually.

“Would JARVIS know if I asked him?”

“Waitnothat’snotagoodidea-”

“Mr. Logan sir, I’m afraid it isn’t in my programming to incriminate Mr. Stark,” the AI responded. Logan raised a suspicious eyebrow at Steve.

“So you do know something about it,” Logan said plainly.

“My programming does allow me to inform you that Captain Rogers was present when images and jokes were emailed to the residents of the Xavier Mansion regarding the phrase ‘Nasty Cat,’” JARVIS continued.

Steve stiffened under the scrutinous gaze of Logan. “Why is ‘Nasty Cat’ suddenly so funny to everyone, JARVIS?’” Logan asked, his eyes narrowed at Steve, whose gaze hyperfocused on his sketchbook.

“According to many reputable sources,” JARVIS began, “most notably Wikipedia, the wolverine is an animal that is referred to by other names, including ‘glutton,’ ‘skunk bear,’ and….”

“And ‘nasty cat?’” Logan finished.

“How ever did you guess, Mr. Logan?” the AI quipped back. “The names ‘skunk bear’ and ‘nasty cat’ are given mostly due to…”

“Alright JARVIS, that’s enough,” Steve said, a little too quickly. “Don’t bore Logan with all of this.”

“Oh no, keep goin’, JARVIS, I’m _very_ interested,” Logan said.

“Have I mentioned that I love you, lately?” Steve said, once more too quick and now too loud for Logan’s liking.

“You are full of shit, bub.”

“I don’t let you know that enough, how much I appreciate you.” Steve batted his eyelashes at his boyfriend.

“Not buyin’ it. Tell me JARVIS.”

JARVIS wasted no time, now. “To mark their territory and sexually signal themselves to potential mates, wolverines use their anal scent glands, leading to the aforementioned nicknames to the animal.”

Silence hung in the room for a full minute. Steve avoided eye contact with Logan, but he knew Logan’s gaze was locked on him.

“You and Stark are gonna get the revenge of your life for this,” Logan said lowly.

“I’ll have you know,” Steve started, finally able to look at Logan, “I did not condone this at first.”

“What made you change your mind?” Logan quirked an eyebrow.

“Aside from the, ahem, glandular thing,” Steve awkwardly explained, “‘Nasty Cat’ is a very fitting name for you.” Steve’s voice got really low, with a smirk punctuating the response, in contrast to the first part of his answer.

“Oh yeah?” Logan raised his eyebrows to Steve.

Steve set his sketchbook aside and crawled onto Logan’s lap. “Want to see how it fits?”

Logan pretended to mull it over for a moment. “Sure, I’ll bite.”

“Then allow me to demonstrate.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation I had with a friend re: animal based superheroes, which led to me checking out the [Wikipedia article for wolverines ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine)and being not disappointed at all with what I found.
> 
> Comment and Kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> [Screech @ me on Tumblr. I'll be sure to screech back.](pietromaximdotmov.tumblr.com)


End file.
